February 2012
8 posts
fully aware of the illusion, I stumble along unconsciously
taunting and degrading, my ID senses no foul play
faulty words I rewind within myself to ensure sincerity
innocent pleasure I entangle myself in,
no attachment I promise myself
those worlds that run on a never ending strip of film.
the strip of film that circulates weakness and anxiety.
restoration has not been set and filled with fuel
nightmares of your favored presense still exists
in both the living and fantasy
left behind calls, voices, thoughts, ideas,
the body that no longer contains you.
left behind tears and sorrow.
i don’t want to wake up
dreams of the unwanted and hidden desires arise
horror and pleasure intermix, painful ecstasy erupts
forces become far beyond reach and fate takes its course
naked to its elements i am an experiment to my fears
your words unplug the thoughts of my unspoken heart
they wander just as you do within me
my heart is hesitant in the presence of yours next
muscles contract and focus is of no means an objective
just a memory held prisoner and you the transitory
January 2012
21 posts
hold me by the hair and drown me underwater
beat my insides until they beg for leave
let my nerves hold no ties between body &heart
scalpel, be free and move to the music
assist me in my freedom and cut me loose
the knot explands drastically in the throat
heat circulates through veins
eyes swell into hand loads and muscles tighten
hatred accumulates into explosion
&devilish thoughts are wished upon
in a dark room, walls are covered with mirrors
a man whose face is hidden behind cloth sits in the corner
a familiar love earnestly pleads for intimacy
“not here”, i refused suspiciously
pleading did not cease and his hands become nimble
nerves tremble and my mind becomes absent
my eyes become another spectator in the room
stripped bare to the only thin cloth that prevents...
escape from crime and insanity
i depart in secret, in mind, another time
joggers legs are held down and forces contradict
slow and agonizing escape as entities are behind, waking and following
paranoia streams through my blood and trust is no option
i seek a savior dressed in a monks attire, cold clammy hands hold mine
although filled with doubt, i proceed for i am hopeless
looking upon his...
let my feet be an overbearing mechanism that eliminates all being
free all shoulders of weight that consumes society
cut the strings that entangle us in belief.
eliminate all conformity and free our souls.
let my feet be an overbearing mechanism that kills us all.
shivers and hairs stand at the sight of your presence
your cold finger tips creep to high altitude, slowly
and breath quickens as each new cell feels you
eyes start to flicker as the profound feeling engulfs me
as time stands still, my entire mind and soul is lost
lost with you, just you and I until time ticks again.
3 tags
skin the color of pastels and consistency of damp...
1 tag
the exposure creates boiling, and skin quickly moistens
mind loses reality as loss motor control accompanies it
voice becomes mute and vision clouds of thick silt
senses lose all, complete function
body no longer body but flesh of unknown
no longer one with the soul who is held captive.
1 tag
it gets harder to inhale
as thoughts wander
and bodies become idle
it gets harder to inhale
everyday.
December 2011
4 posts
not the roundness of the earth
or the sleek grains of sand
not even the abyss of dark rhythmic thumps.
magic confines us from reality
a virus that changes, it detect a new man.
maybe once this encounter would not be faulty
maybe, just like past meaning, it carried on through
no visible threat, an ignorant membrane allows you entry.
decoding and twisting thoughts, manipulation occurs.
let it be the final fall for the next may be a final end
and disaster erupt
October 2011
1 post
everyday i am falling
i am breathing less and less
i am slowly disappearing
away from every living organism.
from you. from me.
September 2011
1 post
the dirt that can’t be scrubbed clean
it reeks of guilt, unintentional desire, and regret.
the stench is so overwhelming, it belittles me.
it devours me whole.
it pains every nerve.
it troubles me entirely.
August 2011
11 posts
i had a dream, you moved again.
everything was the same except your room grew older
the colors, clothes, collections, and bed.
they all aged, matured.
you and your room grew older and i froze.
no memory of me was in there.
limbs and innards begin to give in while heart and...
hearing you speak is a burden, please stop.
man with such a nice front. through societies eyes, a man of good deeds.
a man who is carefree, loving, and never a day of an unhappy face.
who is thought to have all the great characteristics.
who would’ve known such a man could speak such foul, endless, and meaningless thoughts.
his mouth knows no limit, no stop to his own mind.
if only this man can observe himself through another...
boiled to the point of evaporation and past the point of no return.
to where no prior respect, care, and admiration can be thought upon again.
settling into a dislike for one i never knew could be possible.
hate, anger, frustration, stress — questioning the existence i almost hold control of, if it is even worth it.
if it will be easy for both parties if i did not simply exist.
to...
July 2011
4 posts
a body with no control center, absent.
left with no warning, left because of frustration, left because of exhaustion.
five days of absence, mindless indulgence, and no self awareness.
upon return, plans of recuperation begins.
feelings guilt, self hate, and unworthy of existence circulates through veins.
thick layers beneath the skin are its sin and punishment.
wishing to grab hold and rid...
faces shift, and thoughts altered
the sacrifice has become i and fate has taken its leave.
alone in the dark depths of my own naive mind,
it has left me; stricken of emotion only known for gods to describe.
again, my weak soul is victimized.
